Airing Out the Laundry

Sometimes it strikes me how different American and Ghanaian culture is (and I’m using the term very loosely since both countries are made up of all different kinds of cultures).

For example, many Americans work under the idea that they shouldn’t “air their dirty laundry out in public.” We don’t like to raise our voices or make scenes in public, and family problems stay in the family- they are not discussed in front of anyone else.

Here, it seems that the phrase they work by is: “If you got something to say, then say it.”

An example that made this very apparent to me:

We were back in Nkwanta, Mus and I, staying with his uncle the cocoa farmer again. It seems this uncle has one son who’s a bit of a black sheep; he’s rebellious, doesn’t contribute to the house, and is always causing trouble. This son gets into an argument with his sister- and let me just say, their arguments are different than ours. At least in my family, usually there might be a few minutes of shouting, if any, and then lots of glares and cold shoulders. Not here. They were yelling for over a day- and the whole household was in on it. Finally during the day that sat down to hear both of them out- but see the family runs kind of a restaurant in their courtyard, which is full of customers all day. So a sort of court was held, and the judge and jury included every adult within earshot of the house- neighbors, customers, family members, and Mus. (I was watching from my room since I couldn’t understand what was being said, anyhow.)

It was so interesting listening. Everyone present gave his or her view, and when the brother got out of hand, they “hooted at him” which like booing someone and insulted him, trying make him feel ashamed for the way he was behaving.

The next day a neighbor came with a grievance against the same brother, and this little court was held again, with the same result of hoots and insults.

It’s interesting to me how this system works. In my house, for example, conflicts are usually resolved without an arbitrator, but if one is needed than it’s my mom or dad. Not the whole extended family, neighbors, and anyone else in the community. We would never yell at each other in such a public setting.

But with this method, first of all everyone gets a fair say. The father has no more importance in the discussion than anyone else. I think it’s also good because it makes the person see that he’s held responsible for his actions; it shows that his actions don’t just effect him and maybe one or two other people, but the whole community, and he has to answer to all of them for what he does. And I think that’s good- to realize the repercussions your actions have. Not that the system insures that everyone is a good, responsible adult, of course. Ah well, nothing’s perfect.