Religion Gone Bad...

Imagine a balmy tropical night. It’s dark and humid at 11pm with temps in the mid 80’s. And it’s your turn to spend the night without power- no fans, no AC, no relief. So you climb into bed dripping wet and open the windows as wide as you can, hoping to attract any passing scrap of breeze. You’re hot, cranky, and having difficulty sleeping.

Now imagine that 50 charismatic Christians assemble in your next-door neighbor’s yard. They begin to sing, drum, clap, and speak in tongues. They even throw in a few group screams just to keep things exciting. All this they do at a decibel level that rivals my dad’s average TV volume. And they continue doing this until dawn.

Now, I’ve come to terms with the fact that Ghanaians are a different breed of Christians than what I’m accustomed to. Ghana is home to the 8 hour weekly service, and most Ghanaian mothers seem to spend more hours weekly in church than in bed. Still, this baffled me. What could these people be thinking? I mean, if they believe that they are acting in a Christ-like manner, then they must think that Jesus was a loud, inconsiderate ass.

Or maybe their pastor snuck into their houses late at night, opened their Bibles to the passage that says “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” and wrote in its place “Torture thy neighbor with sleep deprivation.”

Personally, I think last night Jesus mentally flipped them the bird, then took a pair of sound-muffling headphones and his trusty ol’ Sony Discman to ride out the night with his favorite tunes.

Okay, maybe not. Maybe that was just me. I mean, He is the All-Powerful Lord of the Universe, the Alpha and the Omega…

Obviously, Jesus would have an iPod.