Tempted by the Fruit of Another...

Well, Amy, my fellow fruit adventurer… I wish you had been there.

The other day Mus and I traveled to visit a farming relative of his. This man raised fish, goats, chickens, ducks, guinea fowl, bees, and various types of edible rodents ranging from guinea pigs to porcupines to rabbits. He additionally grew corn and lots of fruit.

As we were touring his farm, he would randomly pluck a few fruits around him to give to us to try. The first type of fruit he gave us is one I’ve tasted before- they’re called blackberries. But do not be deceived- they don’t resemble any type of berry we have in America. Imagine, if you will, branches ending in what look like a little seed pod. Upon closer examination, you find the pods look like tiny brown fuzzy velveteen throw pillows from the ‘70s. Your first step is to crack that fuzzy outer layer- you squeeze and peel it much like a roasted peanut. Underneath is a peach-colored fuzzy layer. You pop it into your mouth and suck on it. The experience is very similar to sucking on a raspberry-flavored piece of velvet. The velvet slowly melts in your mouth, leaving a smooth, round pebble on your tongue. In the end, it leaves your mouth feeling sandy and dry.

The second type was new to me and much stranger. It was an orange globe resembling a tangerine, but smoother. Mus instructed me to bite the end of it, spit out the peel, and drink the juice inside. This is very similar to how we eat oranges here. I bit the end, spit it out, and looked at the fruit, only to find something very similar to milk flowing from the inside. I desperately tried to catch all the juice in my mouth, but it seemed the fruit was pressurized like a can of soda, because the milk kept erupting from inside though I exerted no outward pressure.

As I’m trying desperately to keep up with the flow, so I won’t cover my hands, clothes, and camera with the liquid, I discover that’s it’s becoming more and more difficult to move my jaws. Sure enough- my teeth are stuck together. Is this lockjaw? I wonder. I throw the fruit away so I can stick my hand in my mouth to find out what’s going on, and discover that my fingers are covered in milk. And they are also glued together.

Ask me the question whether this globe was animal, vegetable, or mineral and I don’t know if I could tell you. It was a fruit containing dairy and superglue. Imagine the warning labels the FDA would have to invent.

God should have written on the peel of that fruit DON’T PANIC.

Lastly, I found fruit from outer space in a remote village Mus and I hiked to. Now, if I had to create some sort of alien fruit for Star Wars or some bad sci-fi TV series, this is exactly what I would make.

This fruit is yellowish green and grows on a tree. It’s about the size of a cantaloupe, but shaped like a mango. The outside looks a bit like a playground kickball, but upon closer examination you find it’s spikier than a kickball.

When the fruit is opened, the whole thing is flexible. Meaning you make a slice on one side, and you can unroll it like a rug. The inside is covered in bright yellow tentacles, resembling a sea anemone. And if you look, hidden amongst the tentacles, you’ll find a slimy oval of goo that’s about the size of a ping pong ball. You pull it out and find it stringy and sticky, like a little peeled mango. You pop it in your mouth, and it tastes almost exactly like a banana Runts candy. It tastes absolutely synthetic. If I hadn’t watched the lady pick the fruit herself, I would wonder if it was some kind of hoax.


By the way, we brough the fruit home, and Mus's sister Hamida refused to eat it, saying it looked "unnatural."